How to Be Impeccable with Your Word: Two Practices for Integrity and Intentional Communication

Dr. Orion Taraban introduces the concept of "impeccability with your word," defining it as using language that is pristine, true, and binding. He proposes two core practices to cultivate this quality and enhance personal integrity. The first practice advises against speaking about others behind their backs in a way one wouldn't dare to their face, emphasizing that such speech often lacks genuine conviction or reflects a misalignment with one's true self. The second practice suggests refraining from using language that one would be embarrassed to see quoted publicly, such as in a newspaper or on the news.

The podcast clarifies that these practices do not demand constant niceness or avoidance of criticism. Instead, they encourage conscious decision-making regarding one's speech. The first practice distinguishes between genuine, courageous confrontation and cowardly gossip, highlighting that if one is unwilling to face the subject of their words, those words likely lack true conviction. The second practice differentiates between private, unconsidered speech and public, intentional communication, aiming to bridge this gap to foster a more integrated self.

For the first practice, the speaker recommends imagining the third party is present during the conversation, acknowledging that comments often circulate back to the person discussed. This mental exercise serves as a filter for unaligned speech. For the second practice, the recommendation is to consider the judgment of respected figures (like a third-grade teacher or grandmother) as a litmus test for the appropriateness and integrity of one's private language, thereby forcing more intentional and ethically sound communication.

Adopting these practices cultivates personal integrity by aligning one's internal thoughts with external expressions, reducing hypocrisy, and fostering a more authentic self. It implies that unconsidered speech can lead to future social pressure and the need to retract opinions, suggesting that true conviction requires a willingness to stand by one's words. Ultimately, these practices contribute to a more ethical way of speaking, strengthening one's character and improving interpersonal relationships through transparent and accountable communication.

ultimately you can arrive at a place of impeccability with your word it's pristine it's true and it's binding

never say something about somebody else that you wouldn't be willing to say to their face

if you're not willing to say it to their face then whatever you're about to say is either not your real opinion or it does not carry the strength of conviction

you're not really in alignment with yourself when you talk like that

anytime I find myself speaking about somebody else a third party who's not present I imagine that they're actually sitting right next to the person that I'm talking to

never say something that you wouldn't want quoted in the newspaper

in this practice you move toward an ethical way of speaking by reducing the difference between your public and private speech

this cultivates Integrity

if you're voicing opinions that you would subsequently retract under social pressure then you really had no business voicing those opinions in the first place did you

by standing with your word you may need to make a stand further down the road