Deconstructing the Perceived Value of Sex in the Sexual Marketplace

This episode of Psych Hacks challenges the common belief that sex is inherently special, arguing instead that its perceived value is largely subjective and often inflated by emotional attachment and societal conditioning. Dr. Teraban contends that while sex might be special to an individual, it lacks objective, general specialness, leading to significant mismatches in the sexual marketplace. He illustrates this with the analogy of a woman demanding high value for her sexual access, akin to trying to sell a family heirloom at a pawn shop where sentimental value is irrelevant to the market price. The core argument is that the objective market value of sexual access, especially in a "disregulated sexual marketplace," is often low due to its non-enduring, repeatable, and widely available nature.

The podcast delves into the distinction between sex "being special" and sex "should be special," positing that the latter often stems from religious or spiritual attempts to elevate human sexuality above mere animalistic copulation. This perspective, when taken to its logical conclusion, creates paradoxical valuations. Dr. Teraban uses the analogy of Holy Communion in the Christian tradition, where merging one's soul with God is free, frequent, and open to all. He questions why, by comparison, merging with another human soul (through sex) should be expensive, rare, and subject to stringent criteria, arguing that such a comparison actually decreases sex's value on the material plane by highlighting the "rigmarole" of dating and courtship.

Further, the episode addresses the ideal conditions under which sex is often believed to be best practiced—within a loving, respectful, committed relationship. While acknowledging this ideal, Dr. Teraban draws a parallel to the ideal consumption of food, like a Thanksgiving dinner. He argues that while such ideal meals are wonderful, they are expensive, inconvenient, and impractical for daily sustenance. Just as people eat for various reasons beyond the ideal, people engage in sex for diverse reasons, and not all non-ideal reasons are inherently bad. Imposing only ideal conditions for sex would have led to human extinction.

In conclusion, the podcast encourages listeners to critically examine their emotional attachments and societal conditioning regarding sex. By stripping away subjective feelings and religious or idealistic frameworks, one can gain a more realistic understanding of sex's objective value and its dynamics within the sexual marketplace. The episode provides a framework for understanding relationship behaviors and offers actionable advice on navigating these complexities, urging a more pragmatic view of sexual exchange and challenging deeply ingrained beliefs about its sanctity.

Sex is not special. It might be special to you, to the individual man or woman in question, but it is not special in general.

Sex is cheap. If the market rate for coffee is a few dollars, it would be very difficult to charge like a hundred bucks for the same commodity.

It could very well be that the majority of the value you perceive lies not in the item itself, but in your emotional attachment to the item.

If you were to remove all your emotional attachment to the object, then it's possible that you would see that this might actually be a good deal.

When people say that sex is special, what I think they're actually trying to argue is that sex should be special.

This is fundamentally a way for man to separate himself from the rest of nature. Sex isn't culation. That's what mere animals do.

Merging your soul with God himself is free, frequent, and open to all. But merging my soul with a woman should be expensive, rare, and available only to those who meet stringent criteria?

It doesn't elevate sex. It decreases its value at least in terms of all the rigmarole that goes into dating and courtship.

But if we were only to consume sex under those ideal conditions, we would absolutely have gone extinct by now.

By the same token, people [ __ ] for all kinds of different reasons. Some of those reasons aren't healthy, but not all of those reasons are bad just because they're non ideal.